Tuesday, March 30, 2010
A Long Time Coming
The focal point of this assemblage, the collage, has been in the process of being "done" for well over 6 months now. I reworked it several times before feeling somewhat satisfied, but even in this state felt it wasn't quite done and it languished on the work table (among a few dozen other collage works in similar states of undoneness).
I really don't remember why I entered the studio yesterday or how I came to be sawing these pieces of wood. It was one of those "Aha!" moments as I stood in front of my display of finished pieces, some already framed with reclaimed wood. My eyes fell on this collage and suddenly I could see it in my mind and there was this force that could not be contained. I worked in a frenzied adrenaline state until it was finished. All thought of my "to do" list out the window.
It was finished in less then an hour. But it had been a long time coming.
In the satisfaction of seeing it completed, I reflected on the many stages I've seen it in. Honestly, at one point I threw it into my redo pile to scrape clean at a later date. It didn't seem possible to salvage and better to accept that I needed to let it go.
Many times it takes coming to this point of surrender, letting go of control, to see something you've worked for and wanted for so long come together. Change can't be forced. Sometimes the harder you try to "make" something happen the more elusive or impossible it becomes. To admit that you are powerless over another person, a relationship, even your own character flaws can seem like giving up, but it gives change the freedom to do what it needs to do, unhindered by our finite vision and limited views.
A seed languishes under the soil. It seems dead. There is no outward sign of the change that is taking place. And suddenly a flower bursts forth, overnight. But it has been a long time coming.
There have been times that I thought I couldn't last for long
but now I think I'm able to carry on
It's been a long time coming, but I know a change is gonna come. ~ Sam Cooke