Ruthless Trust (work in progress) by Crystal Neubauer
Sitting with my journal and prayers this morning I contemplate the past year and the journey I have been on. So amazingly good. So many amazingly good good things have come from some very difficult circumstances.
I look back over the pages of my journal and see the journey scrawled in ink across the pages, the first entry penned exactly a year ago yesterday. These words, sometimes small and neat and other times loose and frantic, often stained with tears, document one of the most profoundly significant years of my life.
Lack of clarity on a personal level this past few weeks, coupled with the sad events in Boston and Texas, the floods affecting so many people I know here in the Chicago area, not to mention the sky convincing me it's Winter regardless of the calendar that says it's Spring, have all served to set my mood low and cast an inner gloom bordering on despair and my thoughts wander back through those difficult times from a year ago. How is it that I made it through to such a remarkable outcome then, and what is it that I am searching for now?
And than God reminds me. It was Ruthless Trust.
I had written to a friend and asked for a book recommendation, specifically something by Frederic Buechner, but instead she said I should read "Ruthless Trust; The Ragamuffin's Path to God" and it was there in the pages of that book that God broke through the bondage of certain mindsets I had and changed my life.
Brennan Manning, the author, passed away last week and the news stirred in me as I remembered the key role the book played in my life a year ago, so I decided to return to it this morning and within the first few pages I found what I needed to hear. It is not in the certainty of my circumstances, but in the ruthless trust of God that I find my security. Thank-you God, I so needed to remember this today:
"Craving clarity, we attempt to eliminate the risk.of trusting God. Fear of the unknown path, stretching ahead of us destroys childlike trust in the Father's active goodness and unrestricted love.
We often presume that trust will dispel confusion, illuminate the darkness, vanquish the uncertainty, and redeem the times. But the crowd of witnesses in Hebrews 11 testifies that this is not the case. Our trust does not bring final clarity on this earth. It does not still the chaos or dull the pain or provide a crutch. When all else is unclear, the heart of trust says, as Jesus did on the cross "Into your hands I commit my spirit". (luke 23:46) ~Brennan Manning, Ruthless Trust; The Ragamuffin's Path to God