Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Hard/Easy vs. Easy/Hard or Back To School - A Season of Change

"Self Portrait: A Work In Progress"

First counseling and now school. My head is spinning over the suddenness of it all, and yet, not so sudden.

It started with a single thought. One innocent thought.

"Hey, I'm not working full time now, I can take a class!
Something fun.
Something I can use to take a step toward my art goals and build a better future."

That one innocent thought led me to enroll for a class, add another class, then another, and oh why not just one more? Whoops, I'm a full time student!
Phew! Is it only Wednesday?

So suddenly I'm going back to school. But at nearly 43 years old, I guess it isn't really sudden at all. It took me a long time to get here. I signed up for Digital Photography, Electronic Graphic Publishing, Web Design, and Metalsmithing. Many of the classes I would have loved to take if I had gone to college straight out of High School.
Well, I would have loved to take them if they actually had computers and the internet way back then! Ha!
Okay, they did indeed have computers. And maybe the internet even existed, but nobody had heard of it and the one computer class I took in High School involved IBM key punch cards.

I know very little about computers. Enough to show you my latest work and tell you a little about my life here. Enough to list and sell my wares at the store and the studio on Etsy, but that is about it.
So to say I am feeling a little overwhelmed with my choice of classes; learning Photoshop, Illustrator and Dreamweaver all at the same time, is an understatement. And deciding to do this at the same time that I have decided to dive into counseling has me questioning my sanity just a bit.

It's not going to be an easy season, this season of change.

There is that voice track in my head, you know the one, that puts up all the objections that sound rational and reasonable to making these changes.
Its too hard. I'm too old. What about all that time you thought you were going to spend just working on art? What about the housework and the kids and dinner? What about all that homework?
And do you really want to open that can of worms?

But then I think about a sermon I heard not long ago. I can't remember the scripture it was based on, or really, the main message at all. I just remember the pastor giving this tidbit: Hard/Easy versus Easy/Hard.
Making the choice to do the hard thing now can bring about the fruit of easier paths in the future, whereas, taking what looks like the easy road can make the future a whole lot harder.

I guess I'm old enough now to testify to the truth of that statement.

Not dealing with the pain of my past "issues" and always having a good excuse not to go back to school? Easy.
Life after those decisions? Hard.

Doing the work it will take to heal and to learn? Hard.
Finally being free of that baggage and having knowledge that will give me more choices for my future? Priceless.


  1. So very true! The road might get harder now, but eventually you will look back and see the fruits you are given and those you give to others along the way, and you will be so glad you took it! There's a reason it called is the path less travelled...

    Kudos to you for having the courage to start walking -

    :-) Molly

  2. when i read your post i immediately thought, oh i wish i lived closer so i could help her with her homework. :0) i like to help when i can. and those classes all sound heavenly to me. so i wish i were closer so i could take them with you...although i don't know if i am ready for a full course load. i think to do this at the same time as counseling is actually the Best Idea ever! you are going to have such a grand time. even though it may be a struggle on occasion, you will learn so many new things and also learn so much about what you are capable of. get ready to grow!

  3. "you go girl!" Yes, it' a cliche, but I'm rootin' for ya. I went through x-ray school for two years when I was the middle of an abusive short marriage, with two children and one stepchild. Hard hard hard time. But has paid off big time with a good life now. You are right that sometimes you have to do the work now to reap the benefits later. :-)

  4. Hey Girl,

    So glad to see you doing all of these wonderful things!!!! You are definately moving in the right direction!!!!

    Wishing you all the best :)