Walk Inside Your Story and Own It; Countdown To Lesson 1

Collage Mixed Media    by Crystal Marie (neubauer)

Over the past few days, I've had multiple conversations with artists, after reading a raw and honest post by one friend, in which she expressed that this time of staying at home has helped her identify what she had always perceived as a personal flaw, as simply her body telling her that hustling to be a productive member of society, by society's standards, was not the way she is wired. In the past, she was able to identify the first part, that this producing and hustling was hard, but hadn't been able to put a finger on just why that is.

Now, with more time to rest, while still being present to her job working remotely as a school teacher, she can more clearly see the second part, that the problem wasn't in her, the problem was in the expectations of the system. 

As a recovering codependent, over-functioner, people-pleaser, I can very much relate to that feeling of self-blame when something isn't working. And as a more contemplative, intuitive, artist, I can very much relate to the dawning recognition of how that self-blame - or put another way, lack of self-trust, has influenced the trajectory of my goals and dreams. 

When I don't trust myself, I turn to the input of others. When I don't trust myself, I can find myself shaping my personal dreams into goals that I think everyone else will approve of. Because, if I don't trust myself, I think it must be everyone else who has it right, after all, look how happy they seem to be. 

So reading this friends post in the early morning hours a few days ago, gave me much to contemplate. I allowed my thoughts the space to roam, to sink down under the covers with my body, and acknowledge what had been whispering in my ear for a few weeks now; my big dream goal might not really be my big dream goal. I think a part of it is, but then I twisted it, like a soft doughy pretzel, to fit what I thought would make it more acceptable, more worthy of your approval. In that moment, the aha place for me was in the dawning understanding that I wasn't being true to what I wanted and what I needed. What my own personal rhythms had wired me for. 

I'm still processing exactly what that big dream is for me, now that I've come to this place of opening to it. I've been journaling each morning, allowing myself the time and space to puzzle it all out. To look at just what parts of that dream do fit and just what parts I know would actually make me miserable. In that journal, I can pour out my words and see them reflected back to me. It gives me the space to dump it all out on the page without fear of judgement. I'm identifying my story. My voice. The place I am right now, here, today. Not the place I was 5, 10, 15 years ago when that dream first began to form. 

One of the aspects of my new live online workshop that I'm most excited about, is how it is designed to do exactly that same thing for the participants. When I got to teach the class that this one is based off of in California last month, seeing each participant connect to their own truths and their own stories, finally seeing how those truths and those stories impacted their own art and could be seen in their own style, was remarkable.

Life changing was the oft repeated phrase throughout the course of those three days together. 

Being able to teach this process, using collage and journal prompts, in an online live workshop over the span of three weeks time, with six individual lessons, gives us the unique opportunity to go even deeper into this content. Slowing down the time to work through each technique and lesson to get to the heart of the thing. Maybe even, to see how this time of change that we are in, has caused you to reevaluate what you thought you wanted and give you more insight to exactly what it is you are wired to do, what it is that you really want your art to say. 

It may sound like a tall order, but after that San Diego experience, and after the first online live workshop I just taught for free on Facebook, I'm feeling pretty confident that you'll have these light bulb moments of your own. And you'll have them while making some pretty cool art you'll be happy to display. 

The new class is called  Collage and The Intuitive Story: Finding Deeper Meaning In Your Work.. And I need to let you know that there are just a few days left to register. The first class goes live on Tuesday the 28th of April and already there are people registered from all across the globe. No need to worry if you aren't able to tune in to watch each lesson live, everything gets saved to video for viewing at your leisure - and at the end of the two month period of time the classroom is open, you'll be given the opportunity to download the lessons to save and view forever. 

I do hope you can join us for this new workshop. And don't forget, the full 8 videos worth of free workshop content, Discovering Your Intuitive Voice, is still available in my Facebook group Crystal Marie: Canary Rising until April 30th. 
You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness."
~ Brene Brown