Enough

It’s the long awaited day of rest with a stack of books at my side. The last event of the year, the annual studio open house, is over and I get to call it a wrap. I want to say my mind immediately shifts towards Christmas cheer and the love of family, eagerly looking forward, with anticipation, to all that 2020 has to bring,  but in this state of exhaustive reflection, it spirals.

Will I have enough? Is a running thread in the self fear anxiety talk. It lands on top of the laundry pile of self-flagellation that could be summed up with one question, am I enough? Along with it’s faithful companion, as if that question were a single sock to a perfectly matched set, Am I too much? 

Today I am thankful to have the time to lay here and soak in all those thoughts. All the memories. All the messages that arise in the process of clean up, set up, show up, cheer up, tear down, and all that is involved in preparing for, and recovering from, such an event, after a long succession of other such events. 

I will let the questions flow through me, pass over me, swirl around me, and drift from me, until I am left with only one verse. The chorus line to the anthem of life. Enough. 

I am enough. 

Hanging the Shields show in the studio for the Open House