Get Your Hopes Up

I heard a girl on one of those reality contest shows on TV saying to the judges that she had worked really hard but she didn't want to get her hopes up.

And it struck me as kind of sad.



I mean, whatever you do in life shouldn't you be allowed to at least get your hopes up? Especially when it is something you have worked really hard for.

I am a dreamer. 

Over the past year I have worked really hard at making some changes. Some big changes. Things are getting to that point, you know, the point where you see if the hard work will pay off.             Or not.

And I have my hopes up. At the end of it all I want to say I lived my life with my hopes up. Longingly. Expectantly. To the fullest.

I want to dream big dreams and work really hard to follow them and I want to hope that my hard work pays off. And if it doesn't I want to dream again. and again. and again.

Can I really call it life without dreams? Without hope?



"but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

Restoration in Progress

Transitions are keeping me busy but in a good way.

Soon I hope to share more with you but today these words say it best




"Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings." Isaiah 58:12

Art Saves

This week I have the privilege of being a guest curator on Jenny Doh's new website, Crescendoh. I love this website Jenny has started. Every week she features 4 artists and their stories and each artist shares their personal favorite posts and new links to inspiring websites and blogs each day.

This week you can read the story of how Art was a tool that saved me, along with the stories of 3 other guest curators and 3 guest readers. In addition to sharing my story and a link to one of my favorite posts from my own blog, I get to direct readers to two of my favorite blogs or websites each day, so be sure to check these out daily for a glimpse of what inspires and moves me.

Everything and Anything

 

Growing up in the 60s and 70s messages for girls were mixed. Most of my friends moms were stay-at-home moms. I remember mine taking night classes when I was in grade school, but during the day she babysat a little boy whose mom went to work in stylish office clothes. She seemed exotic and intelligent and foreign to me. And maybe just a little "bad" like those women who got divorced.

We girls were told we could be Anything we wanted to be when we grew up. But somehow "Be Anything" translated in my mind to "Be Everything for Everybody". 

Maybe it was those early mixed messages. I remember seeing a plaque somewhere in my grandmothers house: "A man will work from sun to sun, but a woman's work is never done." and grandpa and dad and all the uncles being served their dinner on TV trays by the wives as we kids lined up to help ourselves at family gatherings. That message seemed clear. Serve the husbands first, let the kids eat and then clean up after everyone. 

What a relief to finally realize not only can I be anything, but I really don't have to do everything. And I can explore and take my time and make a mess and even ask somebody else to help me clean it up.

Everything and Anything is an assemblage framed collage that explores the idea of femininity, beauty, and the role women play in the home, society, the arts, and religion.

A Long Time Coming

The focal point of this assemblage, the collage, has been in the process of being "done" for well over 6 months now. I reworked it several times before feeling somewhat satisfied, but even in this state felt it wasn't quite done and it languished on the work table (among a few dozen other collage works in similar states of undoneness).

I really don't remember why I entered the studio yesterday or how I came to be sawing these pieces of wood. It was one of those "Aha!" moments as I stood in front of my display of finished pieces, some already framed with reclaimed wood. My eyes fell on this collage and suddenly I could see it in my mind and there was this force that could not be contained. I worked in a frenzied adrenaline state until it was finished. All thought of my "to do" list out the window.

It was finished in less then an hour. But it had been a long time coming.

In the satisfaction of seeing it completed, I reflected on the many stages I've seen it in. Honestly, at one point I threw it into my redo pile to scrape clean at a later date. It didn't seem possible to salvage and better to accept that I needed to let it go.

Many times it takes coming to this point of surrender, letting go of control, to see something you've worked for and wanted for so long come together. Change can't be forced. Sometimes the harder you try to "make" something happen the more elusive or impossible it becomes. To admit that you are powerless over another person, a relationship, even your own character flaws can seem like giving up, but it gives change the freedom to do what it needs to do, unhindered by our finite vision and limited views.

A seed languishes under the soil. It seems dead. There is no outward sign of the change that is taking place. And suddenly a flower bursts forth, overnight. But it has been a long time coming.


There have been times that I thought I couldn't last for long
but now I think I'm able to carry on
It's been a long time coming, but I know a change is gonna come. ~ Sam Cooke