Ruthless Trust

Ruthless Trust (work in progress) by Crystal Neubauer

Sitting with my journal and prayers this morning I contemplate the past year and the journey I have been on. So amazingly good. So many amazingly good good things have come from some very difficult circumstances. 
 

I look back over the pages of my journal and see the journey scrawled in ink across the pages, the first entry penned exactly a year ago yesterday. These words, sometimes small and neat and other times loose and frantic, often stained with tears, document one of the most profoundly significant years of my life.

Lack of clarity on a personal level this past few weeks, coupled with the sad events in Boston and Texas, the floods affecting so many people I know here in the Chicago area, not to mention the sky convincing me it's Winter regardless of the calendar that says it's Spring, have all served to set my mood low and cast an inner gloom bordering on despair and my thoughts wander back through those difficult times from a year ago. How is it that I made it through to such a remarkable outcome then, and what is it that I am searching for now?

And than God reminds me. It was Ruthless Trust. 

I had written to a friend and asked for a book recommendation, specifically something by Frederic Buechner, but instead she said I should read "Ruthless Trust; The Ragamuffin's Path to God" and it was there in the pages of that book that God broke through the bondage of certain mindsets I had and changed my life.

Brennan Manning, the author, passed away last week and the news stirred in me as I remembered the key role the book played in my life a year ago, so I decided to return to it this morning and within the first few pages I found what I needed to hear. It is not in the certainty of my circumstances, but in the ruthless trust of God that I find my security. Thank-you God, I so needed to remember this today:

"Craving clarity, we attempt to eliminate the risk.of trusting God. Fear of the unknown path, stretching ahead of us destroys childlike trust in the Father's active goodness and unrestricted love. 

We often presume that trust will dispel confusion, illuminate the darkness, vanquish the uncertainty, and redeem the times. But the crowd of witnesses in Hebrews 11 testifies that this is not the case. Our trust does not bring final clarity on this earth. It does not still the chaos or dull the pain or provide a crutch. When all else is unclear, the heart of trust says, as Jesus did on the cross "Into your hands I commit my spirit". (luke 23:46)   ~Brennan Manning, Ruthless Trust; The Ragamuffin's Path to God

On Anticipation, Occupying the Land and EncaustiCamp

The last few weeks I've closed with a tease about a major EncaustiCamp announcement and today is the day I get to share the news that I have eagerly been waiting to tell you.

Anticipation is a funny thing. It fills the air with a heightened awareness that something good is about to happen. An eagerness sets in to see the thing being waited for come to fruition and excitement bubbles up from within.

 

There is a sense of anticipation happening in the home and neighborhood where I live. A stirring of a common vision for the greater good. A building into each others lives, and reaching out to build up a community. God sized dreams are stirring and being shared and the desire to see it become a reality is strong, yet there is still an uncertainty about exactly what "it" is and how it will come about. For me it will be a continuation of the faith journey I have been on for several years as an artist; God gives me a picture of what the next step is, but doesn't reveal the entire plan.

Recently I was reminded of the words God spoke to Moses as he prepared the people for entering the promised land in Deuteronomy 7:22: "The Lord your God will drive out those nations before you, little by little. You will not be allowed to eliminate them all at once, or the wild animals will multiply around you." Essentially God is saying "Hey, I'm bringing you this really good thing but I can't give it to you all at once because you won't be ready to handle it." 

That is what the step-by step faith journey is for me. I have the promise of the big picture in front of me. I know it is good, really really good. But the details are still sketchy and when I think about getting from where I am to that really good thing, it is way too big. It overwhelms me and I freeze.  "The wild animals multiply all around" are like the obstacles in the way of my success and I am too afraid looking into their beady little eyes to do anything but stand there and blink. Eventually the fears and the uncertainty threaten to defeat me, but God in His infinite goodness knows this about me and continues to allow me to hang on to the big picture promise while only giving me what I can handle by way of His direction to the next step. Sometimes the step doesn't seem to make sense, but I've been on this walk long enough to know they don't have to, I just need to follow and the way will continue to open.

The next step for me has to do with restructuring the open studio times and workshops I've scheduled in my home studio. Open studio times, the first of which is scheduled for Sunday April 21st from 1-4 will now be free and I am reducing the fee for the Encaustic Collage Workshop scheduled for Sunday May 12 from 10 - 4pm. Yes, that is Mother's Day, so consider treating yourself and maybe bring your mom along and have some fun! 
Contact me for details on how to reserve your spot.

Speaking of anticipation, I promised to share a big announcement about EncaustiCamp. Have I kept you in suspense long enough? North Light Publishers has chosen to feature the retreat in Patricia Baldwin Seggebruch's third book on Encaustic techniques. Each one of the instructors (including yours truly) have been invited to write a section of the book featuring their workshop project. What does this mean for attendees? Well not only is the camp simply fabulous to begin with, but it will be host to a North Light editor and photographer this year as they come partake of the camp's goodness and shoot photos for the book. You will get a chance to be included and to see what goes on behind the scenes of the publishing process and all this right on the water of scenic Dumas Bay near Seattle. Registration is officially open and already half full. Hurry and reserve your spot today!

And if a full retreat isn't in the cards for you this year, be sure to consider a weekend getaway to my Nashville or Paducah workshops, where I just might have more exciting news to share. You never know what the next step may bring!

Grace Like Rain   Mixed Media Collage by Crystal Neubauer

On Taking a Risk and Building Relationships

In my last post I shared that I had been wrestling with resistance over taking a major step toward achieving a goal of mine. Each time I set my mind on taking that step I let resistance get the better of me, but this time confessing it to all of you, I was able to break free of the hold it had on me and accomplished my goal.  Whether the thing I hope for happens as a result or not, I am proud of myself for taking the risk. I won't accomplish my dreams by sitting on the sidelines of life and playing it safe.

Yesterday I had a group of neighborhood kids in to watch a movie and work on an art project together. I woke in the morning with a little flare up of that same old resistance, wondering why I was taking the afternoon off to hang out with a group of other peoples kids when I have so much work to do. But I quickly squashed that thought as I remembered my biggest goals are about building relationships, something that can't be done in the bubble of isolation I am prone to remaining in at home in my own studio. I'm especially aware of the importance of relationships as Easter approaches this weekend. The cross was the ultimate bridge to building relationship and I am grateful for the reminder.

Last week I announced upcoming open studio and workshop dates scheduled in my home studio and the number of responses I received made me realize I left a few important details out. Gages Lake is located in the far North Suburbs of Chicago close to Gurnee, IL where Six Flags and the Gurnee Outlet Mall are located. I am just a short 20 minute drive to the Wisconsin border, 30-45 minutes from Chicago and very close to I-94.

All of my currently scheduled workshops are listed below. Please email me at crystalneubauer@yahoo.com if you have questions or want to register for any of the classes. And be sure to sign up for my newsletter here if you would like to receive regular(ish) updates on my workshops, exhibits and other news.

Stay tuned...Major EncaustiCamp Announcement Next Week!

The Issue Is Resistance....

Collage and Encaustic Composition- Class Sample by Crystal Neubauer

 

Last night I found myself pondering, and asking a good friend, what it was that made me freeze every time I approached a certain goal of mine with any serious intent of taking steps to achieve it. "Sounds like resistance" she quipped "You should get your copy of 'the War of Art' out and read it."

And so here I am this morning, not even 10 pages in, recognizing it. Yup, it's resistance alright. Resistance is what causes us to step back when everything in us tells us it's time to step forward. It's the thing that makes a hundred million excuses to do anything and everything except the thing that we really want to achieve. It is so much easier to resist the changes necessary to improve my life, or achieve my wildest dreams and most deeply felt desires, than it is to take the action steps to get me there.

Fear is a crippling disease and the only way to overcome it is to walk directly toward the thing we are afraid of and live through it. The worst thing about the way resistance causes me to stop taking steps toward my big dream is realizing this freezing has caused me to spin my wheels and not get anything else done either! Thank God for the well timed wisdom of good friends to keep me on track!

Nashville, Paducah, and Chicago area Workshops

 

UPDATED SCHEDULE FOR
Nashville, TN
StudioBe
Cindy Wunsch
4806 Nevada Avenue
Nashville, TN 37209
615-818-0886
Sunday May 19th, 2013
10am - 4pm

Paducah, KY
Ephemera Paducah
Kristin R. Williams
1-270-748-6348
Kristin@EphemeraPaducah.com
Friday May 17, 2013
Saturday May 18, 2013
9:30am – 4:00pm

Chicago Area Workshop and open studio information to come...
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