Day 4 - Tenacity

Day 4 is about Tenacity - and will have to write about it later.


But here's what is really important ~ ♪ ♫ on the 4th day of Christmas Melissa gave to me ♪ ♫

The most beautifully wrapped gift I've ever seen under the tree! This treasure of a bag has had me intrigued since it arrived in my mailbox with such a beautiful package I knew there would be something really special inside.

I was not disappointed when I opened it this morning to find this beautiful plaster heart handcrafted by Melissa David to resemble a Sacred Heart shrine to hang from the tree. With the dangle of objects it makes me think of a window into my soul. A sacred place where love takes root and gets its wings. What a beautiful gift and treasure to hang from my tree!
Melissa doesn't have a blog to direct you to so I will send you back to Deryn's blog for the best photography and to continue to read her study of the 12 apostles of Jesus.

Day 3's art has now been listed in my Etsy shop ~

Day 3 - Never Give Up Hope

On Day 3 of my 12 Days of Christmas and 31 Days of Art series I find myself feeling a little down. Okay, more then a little down, one of those days that you wake up and everything seems to go wrong before you even step foot out of bed.
Ever have one of those days? The kind that you say things like "must have got up on the wrong side of bed" and "I knew this was going to be a bad day before it even started"? I recognize the negative mindset that goes along with this kind of thinking and try to correct it when I catch myself. It isn't a bad day just because I have to deal with something challenging as soon as I get up. There is no wrong side of the bed (unless you have a lumpy mattress) its just about ordinary life. Good, bad, and everything in between. Life.

Today, though it seemed to set off a pattern of self-doubt about the course I am on. One where I spiraled, try as I might, into self-defeating patterns and crazy hopeless thoughts like "I'm all the way back to square one." "all my hard work has been for nothing."

Thankfully I had an appointment with a very dear and wise counselor who helped me to get some much needed perspective. All my hard work over this past year or so has not been "for nothing". I've seen many positive changes in myself and my life. Some visible to others, some known only to a few close friends, and some are just between me and God. I've changed the way I react to difficult situations and people. Not perfect, but very good progress. I've set goals and achieved them. I've taken risks and addressed my fears head on. Well sometimes I've addressed my fears while cowering in a corner, but believe me, I've addressed them!

But now, it is time to start peeling away the next layer. I can hang onto the good of what I have learned already and begin to work on another area. It will be a challenge and many of the feelings will be similar to where I was when I first started this journey. But now I can hang onto the progress I've made and find hope in it.

Kind of like my faith walk with God.

At 33 I had more doubts then faith, but in the midst of it I came to Him. Took a leap of faith in spite of my doubts, fears, anger, and tendency toward self reliance. From that day 11 years ago until now God has been faithfully answering my questions and bringing me into a deeper relationship with him. One step. One day. One question at a time. I can look back to where I was with Him then and in spite of still having bad days my faith is night and day different. When I struggle with my faith I can look back at those questions, those answers he brought and see and know and trust even more deeply and continue to walk.

As I sat down today to write about my Art for Day 3 I could hear a song by a band called The Sidewalk Prophets playing in my head. Something I felt God was wanting me to listen to. It is something for you too:

If we were face to face,
I'd tell you just what you mean to me,
I'd tell you these simple truths,

Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,

And of course there is another song that continues to play:

♪ ♫ on the 3rd day of Christmas Jackie gave to me ♫ ♪

A beautiful doll ornament to hang from my tree! It is a dreary day outside today and my lighting was not good. I was hoping to get a good shot of this ornament while it was dangling because it is so pretty. It has a glass crystal dangle on an antique chain with tiny little stars hanging from the bottom and right away I knew she was not going to be just another tree ornament. I've been needing to find a pull for the light above my work table in my studio and she is just perfect for that purpose! But the silly girl would just not hold still and let me get a good picture. I don't think Jackie has a blog to send you too (Jackie let me know if I'm wrong), but you can head over to Deryn's blog for better pictures and read each day her story of the 12 Disciples of Jesus.

My Day Two art has now been posted at OPF Studio on Etsy where everything is still 50% off through tomorrow!

Day 2 of 12 Days of Christmas - 31 Days of Art!

Day 2 of my 12 (er now 13) Days of Christmas Swap and 31 Days of Art brings another untitled piece of art that I have decided for now is simply "Day Two". Yesterday's "Day One" has now been listed at OPF Studio on Etsy at 50% off normal pricing for my "Black Friday/Cyber Monday" Christmas Sale. All art in the studio and most of the objects in the store are listed at 50% off through December 5th.

"Day Two" is an encaustic wax collage created from canvas & paper salvaged from antique books, sheet music covers and wood veneers on gesso board. It is mounted on a standard 11" x 14" mat and is ready to frame.

Each of these works were an exploration of my desiring to make changes in my daily routine as I begin to think about my goals for 2010.

The life of a work-at-home artist can be driven by moods, interuptions, other "important" obligations, and just plain disorganization (yes I made that confession yesterday). If, as they say, "It takes 21 days to form a habit" then after creating, posting, and listing regularly for 31 days I should have accomplished some of the changes that I am needing to make in order to prepare for the goals I've set for 2010.

♫ ♪ and on the 2nd Day of Christmas Pilar gave to me...♫ ♪

A beautifully wrapped present to put under my tree. And today was the day I got to open the gift that Pilar so lovingly handcrafted for me to hang on my tree!

I wish I could show you each tiny detail of this simply beautiful ornament Pilar created. But even more beautiful to me is the meaning that Pilar put into her work. To have such significance portrayed in a work of art moves me, but to have the meaning be about a prayer moves me so deeply that I feel myself brimming with tears when I look at it. I will cherish this "Cloot" or Scottish Prayer Cloth always. Be sure to stop by Pilars blog to read more about it and the prayer that she has posted for all.

Until tomorrow . . .

12 Days of Christmas - 31 Days of Art!

Every year for the past several years I've been part of a group of women-artist-internet friends who exchange handmade ornaments in a "12 Days of Christmas" swap. Last year I was unable to participate so the group invited another artist to take my place and this year I was invited to come back and join the fun, making the 12 days of Christmas a "13 Days" event!

Here is a group shot of all the packages waiting to be opened, minus three. I had not thought to wrap one of my own for this photo and there are still 2 ornaments due to arrive very soon.

The hard part: creating my ornaments, wrapping the ornaments, packing the ornaments to ship and getting them to the post office on time.

The fun part: opening my mailbox every day to find packages with my name on them, arranging all the packages, anticipating opening the packages, and finally December 1st arriving and getting to open a new present every day for 12, no, make that 13 days!

Before I show you what I got to open today I have a confession to make.

I am disorganized.

Terribly disorganized.

Of course you may have already guessed this from my infrequent blog posts or my sporadic art listings, but I have been convicted lately of just how disorganized my life has become and in light of my taking on a new part time job as a framer at Hobby Lobby, and my plans to begin working toward a degree hopefully this January, and noticing the date of my last blog post (an entire month ago!), and even more plans to begin teaching more workshops in 2010 and vending at more shows, I've decided it is time to address this issue and begin to develop better work and life habits.

~First order of business, post a new piece of art a day for the entire month of December~

This one is not titled yet, but I can feel the inner story teller whispering something about making the decision to go back to school. This time with a specific goal in mind. There is much fear and many doubts about the long term commitment and my abilities etc. etc.

But also many hopes and dreams and just the hint of possibility. Can I? Should I? Will I be able to?
One day. One day at a time. I won't look too far in the future. I will just take one class and then another one. I will just change one habit and then another one. And one day along the way it will start to feel more real. More comfortable.

And I know I will be able to look back and say I can. I should. I will be able to.

Okay but before all that, I won't keep you in suspense any longer.

♫ ♪ On the first Day of Christmas Danita gave to me ♪ ♫

I am sooooo excited about this one. When I dropped out of the group last year and found out Danita was joining in my place I was green with envy! Happy for the other members but I wanted to be on the receiving end of this fantastically talented artists gift giving!

I've been drooling over the brilliant way she wrapped her ornament since it arrived. And the little tag is to die for! Have I mentioned how much I adore Danita's work? She is a very talented painter, but doesn't stop there. She then turns her little characters into the cutest little creations. This tag is just one example. You really HAVE to stop by her blog and her Etsy shop and check everything out for yourself!

I carefully cut open the back of the package because I couldn't bear to tear it open, and this adorable little girl is what I found. And I have to say, this is, and I don't mean it in any way diminishing the other talented artists, but this really is one of my all time favorite ornaments I've ever received in the 12 days swap! I am gaa gaa over her tiny little painted face, pipe cleaner arms and legs, crepe paper skirt, and tiny little wreath! Now I just need to put up my Christmas tree and give her a special place on it (did I mention how disorganized I was?)

See you tomorrow~

Prayer Journal Entry - Hey God It's Me Again

Some days as I create I am simply creating, just listening as the pictures I see and the words I hear collaborate to form a story. Other days I do a lot of thinking, sometimes maybe too much, and have questions for God. I work silently and wait to see if He answers.

Hey God it's me again,

I'm struggling today, as always, with so many questions on my mind. I know my questions don't scare you, but do they ever make you mad? Make you turn away from me? Frustrate you? Make you laugh? Do I ask too many or too often?

Like, what qualifies as real worship? Is there a right way and a wrong way? Is there a way that brings me closer to you then others? Is it jumping up & down clapping in unison with the entire congregation to celebrate the life you've given? Is it singing a prayer, walking in circles around the chair, speaking in tongues, calling out your name in between stanzas with hands raised? Is it closing my eyes and weeping at the beauty of the words being sung too moved to speak? Or is it when I sit quietly in my studio and push papers around, slopping glue on my hands and getting it in my hair, and faintly hearing your answers to my questions as I begin to see the picture I am making form in front of me?


And do I have to pray out loud in order for my prayers to be more powerful and effective? To send the enemy on the run as he hears me calling to you and standing on your promises? Am I sinning if I start to falter and forget what your promises to me even are, let alone how to stand on them? How do I know which way to pray is right? If I'm not prophesying and don't pray in tongues am I missing the mark?

If I quietly lead my life & sometimes talk about you to people who don't know you, but sometimes not, am I hurting you? Grieving your Spirit? Lord did you put me on this earth to live a life of martyrdom like your servant John, eating locusts and wearing animal skins or the modern day equivalent to it?

How can I believe what some say about sacrifice when they talk to me from their big houses & drive their nice cars? How can anyone believe me when I talk about you when they see that I have so little or need so much? When I am dealing with broken relationships and have such a messy life?

Do I discredit you when I don't look like I have it all together and still claim to know you, to be known by you?


I cry and moan to you and ask for one thing and then the next day I contradict myself and ask you for the opposite. I waver and flounder and don't have a clue some days, but I am trying.

Clearly, Lord, I have a tough road ahead of me and I know that you are with me on it, but are you with me more if I pray to you out loud while posturing on my knees then you are if I sit squirming in my bed because the pillows aren't comfortable enough, while the cat sleeps in my lap and I journal my thoughts in the form of a prayer to you or if I am simply sorting through these scraps of paper?

Lord I know you are a big enough God to handle my questions. On the one hand I feel guilty for having the questions in the first place, for my waffling and unsteady emotional swings, but on the other hand I feel like you are the only place I can go with this. You understand me more then anyone.



One thing I know for sure is you are there. You allowed me to stray so far from you and when I was ready you opened your arms and welcomed me home. You answered every one of my questions when I needed to know if you were real. I am grateful I can come to you. Grateful you will be with me on my steady and secure days as much as you are on my most uncertain. Grateful that for as many questions I have, you have all the answers.

And I know that you hear me, even if all I am doing is writing to you in this journal and praying to you in my head & my heart, because there have been so many answered prayers. So many real & tangible answered prayers.